Memories

I am so excited that my brother was able to get time off to spend with his wife and new baby before they ship him over to Korea. When I got the text it made me think about a Christmas where my brother and I decided to go on a search for the presents we knew our parents had gotten us. Being a military brat, the fun was that you saw beautiful places but you also left behind friends so needs to say my brother and I became the best of friends. Now back to this present hunt.

Mother was always smooth about going shopping without us to pick up the presents and then stash them in the house until the Eve of the big day. This particular year I got smart. I decided that my brother and I were going to hit every nook and cranny of the 2 level Virginia Beach town house we lived in. We started in the garage of course and there was nothing. We looked in the closets and crawl space and still nothing. The next stop for us was the second floor. We started in our parent’s room and of course not a wrapped gift in sight. So we decided to look our sister’s room since she was the baby and we never played in that room; again, still nothing. We had one more spot to check, the upstairs closet that led to the attic. As we opened the door, we were disappointed because it was the usual vacuum cleaner and other miscellaneous items that our mom stored in there. I was determined to find these gifts so I decided I was going to go where no man had ever gone, the back of the deep closet.

To my surprise my mother had found the perfect spot to hide the gifts. She knew that we would not dare go that deep in the closet. Stacked up behind other items in the closet were rows of wrapped gifts stacked on top of each other. I waved my brother in and his eyes got wide. We started to count the many presents that we had gotten and even able to untape a few gifts to see what we had gotten. How excited we were to see that we were getting items we had asked for. Of course after being nosey, we taped them back up, and placed them exactly as they were and giggled as we knew that Christmas was going to be so fun. On the Eve of Christmas, my mother and father start to prepare the feast so that when we wake up to see our gifts they are well rested to see the smiles on our faces.

So of course we didn't know the toys we were getting because those go out when we are sleep but the gifts we open after dinner were the ones we had to act like we didn't know we were getting. My father would dress up as Santa and come in our rooms and eat the cookies we had sat out for him and shake a bell so that we knew that he had come to our home. Christmas day had arrived and of course we are watching the clock until it struck 9 to go running out of our rooms to see what Santa had gotten us. I think that year I had gotten my first boom box and karaoke machine and my brother had gotten his Ninja Turtles action figures that year. The morning goes and we are playing and my parents are finishing up last minute cooking and trying to tear us away from our gifts so we can get some breakfast in us.

The late afternoon comes and we have dinner and it is time to open up our gifts under the tree. My brother and I are looking at each other trying to act like we are excited and waiting to open up our gifts. My mother as usual knows exactly what she is getting just by shaking and feeling the weight of the box. One year we tried to trick her by making the box heavier and wrapping it in a different way and she was still able to guess (I think she was elf sent down to work for Santa. Lol!!). So after everyone has gotten the gifts under the tree, we go around in a circle and open our gifts. First of course is our little sister. She gets help from my mom to unwrap her gifts and she is very excited. Then my dad, then my mom, then my brother, and then I opened our gifts. When it got to the two of us, our parents asked us to unwrap our gifts together. We looked at each other and with no hesitation open a gift and we looked at each and put on the acting. "WOW!!! I can't believe I got this. Thanks mom and dad!" I don't think our parents ever found out that we had seen the gifts in advance (looking up to the sky, sorry mom). But the memory of having family around is what I am getting at.

It doesn't matter where you are in the world; make sure that you talk to family. They are all you have and are the ones who can continue your name and memories after you are gone. So this Christmas holiday, try to mend old relationships and make this a year that will get you closer to LINDA. I want to give a shout out to my brother and tell him I love him and I wish him a safe and speedy return back to us. Have a great day and I will see you guys later. :-*

I'm a make it

Today was a better day. With the wrapping up of school and seeing how great the staff, children, and parents at my school showed this new kid love, I can say that I’m starting to get my stride back. My first graders really loved the projects we did over the week and I was happy to see the light in their eyes as we talked about the holidays and the books I read to them. I was able this week to finish week 7 and the last 2 days felt good. I am not looking for this week to have lost weight only because it had been one of those weeks where I was not feeling it but the one thing I didn't do was eat because I had an off week. So I am going to be happy with just staying even and these 2 weeks that I have off from school, I will get refocused.

I am very happy to see so many of my running group doing so well. Some have lost weight along this journey but what we have found out from this journey is that it is really ourselves that are our downfall. We must start listening more to that voice deep within that tells us that we can do it. We are our biggest cheerleaders and if we can't see the potential in ourselves, how will others see that. As you can see, I had to learn that the hard way. I will not lie to you, I am a pleaser and I love to make sure that others are happy. But do the people I care so much about want or do the same for me. It is one thing to say good job to a person but to help them on that journey shows that you are in their corner and no matter what the outcome is they will still be there. I always tell my close circle of friends that I have not change, I have just gotten older. When they call me I am still there to listen and be there when others have left. I will not judge them nor will I sugar coat the truth. I am me.

With the holiday once again putting me in a little downer, I also had time to listen to myself as well as think about things, things I want to change and people I want in and out my life. I realize that I can't be mother to some people anymore. You have to let them make the mistakes and just be there when they fall because they will need you. I have to stop being so damn nice. I laugh because this will be the hardest to break. The word no is not in my vocabulary and in cases of seeing who really cares for me and their intent, saying yes clouds the judgment. With this goal of 30 at 30, I want to start the new year off with a great circle of friends and people who want to be there not only when it benefits them. I hope everyone is getting closer to being LINDA and I look forward to hearing from you guys. I will be opening up the floor next week of Q&A and I look forward to answering any questions you may have for me so ask away. Please enjoy this song by Chrisette Michelle. A great artist who has an amazing voice. Her music hits home and so does this song.  See you guys later :-*


I'm a make it by Chrisette Michelle

Still standing

Tonight was a great night. I laced up my shoes and hit the pavement. I really needed it considering my mind has been all over the place. I really have not been able to get into a groove with this run but I was able to complete my run today even with the weather being in the 40s. It felt so good being out there and the cool air hitting me as I ran. I had the 90s music in my ear. Blackstreet and Salt & Pepper belting out notes in my ear put me in a relaxing mode. I really needed this run today because I needed to shut the world out for 40 minutes.

The good news I have is that my baby was AWESOME Saturday night at his concert. I think the love of music has been passed down to him because he really enjoyed performing and I was so proud to see him beam with happiness on the stage. Also, the inches keep coming off. The clothes are looser, I am fitting into shirts I have had tucked away, and the belt hole keeps moving. So I still have my eye on the prize of 30 for 30. I just need to switch up my strength training. Anyone have any suggestions? Well I know I have been MIA, I have been thinking a lot. Thinking about where I will be in the next few months and the people I feel it is time to 86 out my life. It is a tough decision when you have to think about the people who are not moving in the direction that you are. When I talk about same direction, I mean supportive and positive. I don't want people who don't have goals and dreams around me. I don't want people who just want to be around me when there seem to be a problem with their life and they know I will be there to help fix it. People who always have something negative to say or no encouragement at all. These are the people I am saying bye-bye to. So the New Year will be coming upon me and a new me will be emerging.

I hope that everyone is thinking about long term goals for the New Year and not quick fix ones. One thing I have learned is that quick fixes never get you where you want to go. So take some time to yourself and think about where you are, where you're headed, and what you want. Once you have that figured out, make the necessary changes (small steps) to get you to the you, you want to be. Thank you to those who have followed me and are encouraging me. I have not forgotten you. I wish all you luck in your journey and I will post again soon. Please enjoy the song by Monica. I love it and I am sure everyone can relate to this. :-*

Still standing by Monica

Fighting this fog

I'm back!!! Hello everyone. I took a break for a little bite so I can adjust to this new schedule. From my last post, I had lost 10 pounds. I have been lagging this week and I hope that does not hurt the work I have put in. My run schedule is all out of whack and my off days that are used for strength training, have been nonexistence. I finished my week 6 day 2 run and it felt good. I like the longer runs but wish they didn't throw that 25 minute straight run in last week. I long for them now but I know I have to stick with the plan because it is helping me.

I don't know why this week has been such a walk through the fog for me. My mind has been all over the place from school, my kids, and the Holiday that is coming. The only thing I have been able to focus on has been my running. I feel my mother saying "you can't take on the world's problems on alone." So what am I to do? I think this weekend while I am watching my son put on his Holiday show, I will take time to relax and take time for me.  Maybe it is the Christmas blues I am having. I just hope this fog is over soon. I need to get inspired again. Tell me, what inspires you? What keeps you going towards your goal? I will see you guys later and I hope everyone has plans for this Holiday. Here is a song from Evanescence I hope you enjoy. :-*

Weight of the world by Evanescence

Keep it coming

Hello everyone!!! I am so happy today. I woke up this morning and got the boys ready for school. I almost forgot to step on the scale. I hopped out of my clothes and stepped right on the scale. I looked straight ahead until I heard the beep on the scale tell me to look down. I almost cried guys. I had lost 4.2 pounds for the week. Yes you heard me right. That now makes me 10 pounds. I am so happy. All my hard work is paying off. The couch to 5K, loseit, and my new release on life have put me where I am today.
Now it is time for me to look forward to the next goal of 20 before or at 30. I am looking forward to that as well as running my first 5K in January. I thank all of those who have supported me this far and I hope to continue moving forward and giving that love and support back. I was bummed that I was not able to run today so I have to start my week 6 run tomorrow. Hopefully I will not be late coming home so I can get it in before the darkness falls. I will catch you guys later and know that you can do it with the right people around you. Have a good evening.

Survivor

I am so proud of myself today. I woke up this morning got my boys and I ready for school and when I was slipping into my outfit, I realized I was looking slimming. Granted that I had on jeans and a tank but when I saw my profile as I was heading out the door, I had to look twice. "Is that me?" I said. Damn my waist is getting smaller and look at that stomach (not rock solid commercial abs but we are getting there). I wanted to post a picture but of course I guess this was just my week that every electronic I used would break. So you can guess what I want for Christmas (Nikon D3100 but I will settle for a Nikon CoolPix S8000). That alone made my day as I headed off to work. The 5 weeks that I have put into myself is paying off and I am not even ready to stop. So look out world her comes the new and improved me.

After a long day at work I came home to my little sick bear. While in school, my oldest got sick and was taken home today. I catered to him for a while and knew I had to conquer the dreaded beast of a 20 minute straight run. I got into my second uniform for today (gym clothes), did my stretching and headed out and proceeded on my journey. I was amazed at how I did. I was not winded as I thought I would be and I kept the same pace as I've done for the last few runs. I was even able to sing the words to the songs as I pound the pavement. 37 minutes later and I was done. I was not tired and I was proud of myself once again. If this was 5 weeks ago and you've asked me to run for 20 minutes, I would have thought you were crazy but I tell you, the Couch to 5K program has done wonders. There were voices in my head (not Sybil voices) telling me to stop, that I couldn't do it but this new me, was not having it. I kept pushing and the new me won. For those reading my blog, you can do it. It doesn't matter what your goal in life is (lose weight, become a better you, find a better relationship etc.), you can do it. You have to trust yourself and start surrounding yourself with like-minded people. Today I became a survivor and I like how I feel and what has become of me. I will check in with you guys soon. Enjoy this song by Destiny Child. I think it is a fitting song for me and all who are or will overcome something. Thank you running community you have been the best. This is for you as well.  :-*

Survivor by Destiny Child

Not afraid

Today was a great day. I started my substituting solo today and it was good. I had no worries, I had worked for a few months and it began to become second nature to me. After work, I was able to get my son's homework checked and head out for my run. The weather this evening was the perfect running temperature. We went today from hot weather to dipping down to mid 60's and I am loving it. The run was great, I was able to keep the pace and able to run the allotted time for this week. I smell success in my future and that is coming very soon.

Normally I pack my lunch for work and snacks to go along with it but today, I didn't realize that all I had was the meal and left the snacks. I am not complaining because anything to keep the calories down (fats), I am all happy for. It just made me realize that when I am kept busy, I don't consume as many calories as I would if I was let’s say at home taking care of my little one. The one thing I have not slacked on which, for me was a bad habit was skipping breakfast. It doesn't matter now what time I get up; I am cooking eggs, oatmeal, cereal, or some breakfast version for the day. Also using the loseit site, I am able to see for the week the calories I am putting in, how many calories I burn off with exercise and how many calories I do not use after I plug in foods and exercise. I want to thank Lisa from my running community for hooking me onto the site. Every day I go on there and see how successful she is doing with her plan. Congrats Lisa!!

So now it is time for me to sit back and relax, look over my plan of action for tomorrow and enjoy the milestones I am making. Oh did I mention that yesterday at my schools pep rally, I was recognized along with all the teachers in the school for doing a great job. That made my day and I was proud to be a part of such great teachers. This only fuels me to succeed even further. I am not afraid anymore. What milestone (big or small) have you accomplished today, yesterday, or will accomplish this week or month? Let me know so I can cheer you on. My mom said "you can never have too many positive supporters." I will see you all tomorrow Please enjoy this song by Eminem. You may not be in the same situation as his lyrics but the meaning behind it rings true for all who may be going through or has gone through something. :-*

 Not afraid by Eminem